Skip directly to content

Welcome to my lIfe

astronaut_abby's picture
on 14 Feb '13

So I thought I would make a post about this song because it was the song that helped my the most. I have had endured so much pain in my life since the time I was in 4th grade. When I was in 4th grade my mom and another mom from the same class got in a fight about a soccer photo or something stupid like that. I was the victim of this fight while the other mother's daughter was the one benefitting from it. I was exposed to bullying from at first, 3 students. As the year dragged on and on I was exposed to bullying from the entire class. I didn't know if it could get worse. I was scared of the person I would become and the things i might do.

I left the school in 7th grade which only made them start more rumors. Little did I know that 2 students who made fun of me went to my new school. They told the entire class what had gone down and were telling rumors about me there. I was to the point where I was becoming the person I was scared of becoming. I was doing things that I would regret and saying the things I would have never imagined myself saying. When I was in 8th grade I picked a razor for the first time. Also around this time I had started wearing a bunch of rubber bracelets in my left arm. I had cut on that arm so the bracelets would cover it. I regretted what I was doing but I pushed those thoughts aside and thought to myself no this is good, you are getting the relief you needed. Inside myself i felt alone and sad and cutting was the only way to stop it.

I went onto high school only to relize my worst fear had been confirmed: I was face to face with my bullies. They are going to the same high school as me. I didn't know if I was going to make it. Around this time my brother had gotten me into SImple Plan and I easily became addicted. I felt like the songs were singing about my life and what I had endured and could easily relate to it.

After finding out i was the person i feared I would become my mom took me to a therapist to talk about everything. At first I didn't want to go because I was scared to tell a person my problems and shit like that. At this point my mom knew nothing (she stills know nothing) about me cutting myself. I guess I did a good job of hiding it because no one I love know about it. I had become a lifeless thing. i was no longer a full of life human I was more like a globe walking around and just enduring it all not paying attention to anyone or anything. I had not smiled a actual smile at school since 4th grade.

I was diagnosed with depression and Bipolar disorder (something I don't like to talk about). I did what I had to do, took the pills and went on with my everyday life. I was on the verge of suicide and no on around me knew that. I have tried bu have never succeeded because I am too scared to find out what will happen afterwards. I was scared of getting yelled at and waking up in a hospital and people finding out. I would substitute it with cutting so I would only have to deal with bleeding and be done with it. I am always haunted by the demons of my mind and they tell me to things and say things and most of the time I will listen to them in order for it to stop.

Simple Plan is one of the many bands that have helped me get through this whole journey. Without Simple Plan I would 100% be dead right now. I think overall they have helped to just keep me going and to keep from doing something that I can't undo. I have lived a life no one would want. When I am at home I am completely different person because I can be happy and when i am at school I can't smile and people tell me to smile and enjoy life but how can i enjoy life when I have suffered so much and endured so much shit? Please answer that question for me. No one can because there is no point.

Forum category: 


Um hi okay i joined both. :)

Um hi okay i joined both. :) Thank you for inviting me!!!! :)

astronaut_abby's picture
4 years 3 months
Joined: 16 Nov 2012

Hey if you have Facebook you

You're Welcome :)

jenlwphoto's picture
1 month 3 weeks
Joined: 07 May 2012